Growing up with Spirits: My Philosophy

Hello again y’all, it’s Heidi. First things first, I wanted to express how grateful I am to all of the wonderful people out there who read my very first entry. It was something I never had an interest in doing, and frankly, it was something I was afraid of. Seeing the support that was given to me made me feel glad that I decided to do something a little out of my comfort zone. So, thank you all.

Now, my first entry was about a scary situation in one of the many paranormal experiences I’ve had. I feel like that’s the sort of thing that draws people in. However, I think it’s important to remember that spirits, or ghosts, or whatever you choose to call them, are not always scary. At least not for me, that is. I’ve grown up with paranormal activity in my daily life, so I could just blame my lack of fear on me getting used to it, but I think it’s mainly because I learned.

I remember getting advice from when we were filming our episode of The Dead Files and also from the reiki master who helped us afterward. The big thing was that you, as a living being, have a body. And with that body, you have power and you are in control if you believe it. If something or someone is bothering you or making you uncomfortable, just tell them to stop calmly. Be polite, because they are still a soul even if they don’t have a body.

Even though the show is over and my house is pretty much back to normal, there are still plenty of times where I have encounters with spirits. I can’t see them or hear them like my dad can, but I seem to be very sensitive to their presence. I can feel them looking over my shoulder or sitting beside me, just like how it feels like when a living person is doing those things. For some, it may send a shiver up their spine, but I welcome them. I treat them as an equal. If they are interested in what I’m doing, I show it to them. I speak to them just as if they were alive. If I feel uncomfortable, I just tell them to stop whatever they happen to be doing because I don’t like it. And 99% of the time, they listen and stop. 

We hear a lot about the bad stories about ghosts, but a lot of things seem to be misunderstood. I think about it this way, I put myself in their shoes. People are typically afraid of dying, even though it’s natural and it’s best to just accept it. Imagine that fear, combined with the confusion of what they do after they’re dead. Imagine being stuck on Earth as a spirit and not knowing what to do or where to go. You’d call out to people for help, or maybe just for company. I feel like showing kindness to the dead could help them calm down, if only just for a minute.

There are many kind spirits, just as there are many kind living people in the world. Treat them just as you would any other person, that’s my personal belief. If you put out negative energy, you might just receive that negative energy back. That’s what I think. That could just be my optimistic side showing, though.

Before I go, I have a favor to ask. Aside from being that kid on the ghost show, I also am a singer/songwriter and I make my own music. I currently have one of my songs released on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, Youtube, and many other music streaming services. I’m also getting an album together, as I write these blogs, to post on those streaming services as well. If you would give my music a listen, it would mean the world to me. You can also follow me on places like Spotify and get updates when my new music is out if you do like it. Here is the link where you can choose where you want to listen if you choose to check it out. Thank you so much for your support, and thank you for reading!

Possession in a Child's Perspective

Hello, viewers of the blog, it’s Heidi. At long last, you get to hear from me if you ever had any interest in what I have to say. I guess I’ll start off by saying that I never wrote anything before because I don’t like looking back on what happened to my family and I. Those are some of the worst years of my life, so naturally, I wouldn’t want to reflect on them or even go back and remember the slightest detail. I mean, some of the stuff possibly caused by our issues with the paranormal is still affecting me today. It was only just recently that I got my medical issues and auto-immune disease under control, and I’m 16 now. So it’s been a bit. But now, I’ve grown somewhat, and I think I can share a bit with you all.

I’m not quite sure where to start, because there was just so much that happened. I also tend to block things off and forget them so I don’t have to deal with them, so there are scary experiences I don’t quite remember. Cause after seeing your dad get possessed multiple times, you’d want to forget it too. Actually, how about I talk about that?

I don’t remember what age I was or anything like that, but I do remember waking up to my little sister, Emi, shaking me and bawling. I could hear my mom yelling at me to wake up, and I was so lost and confused. I walk out of my bedroom to see my dad sitting crisscrossed on my front porch, eyes closed, and mumbling something in a language I’d never heard before. It was the first time I’d ever looked at someone, who I’d seen almost every day of my life, and think, “That’s not him”. It’s an eerie feeling. 

He then reaches out to Emi and says something, trying to grab her. She, of course, screams and starts crying even more because to her, that’s a stranger. I’m still stuck in shock and am not sure what to feel, but I followed what my mom told me. I grabbed Emi and ran outside with her, both of us barefoot and draped in our blankets. We run across our gravel driveway to the neighborhood across from us to reach our neighbors for help. After we’re on the road and running there, the shock wears off and I start bawling just like Emi. Thinking about it now, we must’ve been a sight to the other neighbors. Two young girls wrapped up in their blankets running barefoot in the middle of the street and crying. But when it’s happening to you, and you’re a kid, you’re just trying to reach some normalcy and safety. You don’t really care about what you look like.

We finally made it to the neighbors and we had ended up staying there for a bit. I’m extremely grateful that they were able and willing to help. I remember staying in the guest room, looking out the window, and seeing dozens of police cars and ambulances outside of my house. Everything ran through my head so fast. “Oh my god, what happened? Is Dad ok? Is Mom ok?”, those kinds of thoughts. But you can’t go and check because you’re too scared and it’s too dangerous. I sort of felt helpless.

Moral of the story is, getting possessed, or watching someone get possessed, is terrifying. It’s unpredictable. One minute you’re you, and the next you’re someone your children are terrified of, yet you still look the same. That’s the scary part.

Let's Get This Party Started!

We hadn't found a Reiki and we were starting to get desperate.  Unfortunately we had no where to turn.  It's not like you go to the Reiki section of your local store and pick one up.

Since we hadn't heard from the Reiki that Amy recommend, I decided to reach out to her to see if she could help.  I sent her a very brief message on Twitter, although I knew the odds of her seeing it were slim.  I sent another message to her via our producer at Painless Productions.  Like I said, I kept the message brief and simple.

Hi Amy,

I hope you remember us. We were the family in Kearney MO  from this past May.  We having a difficult time finding a Reiki and haven't heard back from the one you recommend.  We're very scared for Heidi and need help.  Can you recommend someone else or point us in a different direction.

Thank you so much for what you've done for us.

Lance

Within a couple of days, the original Reiki that Amy recommend called back!  She was very apologetic about not getting back to us sooner as prior commitments kept her away.  She was somewhat familiar with our situation as Amy had given her some of  basic information about us along with her instructions to get our lives back.  

The first step was to asking us about our experiences since the reveal.  She wanted to know if it had gotten better, worse, and was the same.  She wanted to know as much about Heidi as possible as she was thee number one priority.  She wanted to start working on Heidi right away.

We told the Reiki about our visit to Aquarius and she was excited that we were proactive and took steps.  She was also familiar with the people at Aquarius and was happy that they took the proper and correct steps to help us.  That comment alone really helped give us a bit more peace of mind.  Considering everything we had been through over the past 8 years, it was comforting to know that we were finally getting the upper hand.

The primary attention was on the crazy woman, we had to cut the ties she had with Heidi and get rid of her.  The Reiki wanted to weaken her as much as possible before she came out to our house.  Everything needed to be planned with a high level of attention to detail because one wrong step, could cash her to  lash out at us with more power.  

The steps to accomplishing this were simple but the mental strength in doing so was very hard.  We had become so weak and tired despite gaining control but the fact that we were so close gave us the strength to push forward.  Besides, we had to protect and save our child.

The Reiki laid out a plan.

-Continue to burn the Frankincense and myrrh every day.

-Play calming Reiki music continuously.

-Speak with confidence and tell everyone there that this is our house.  It belongs to us.

-Pray using the book of Psalms we had gotten from Aquarius.

-Never leave anyone alone in the house

-The Reiki would start working on Heidi's situation prior to coming out.  Focusing her energy on Heidi.

-Plan a time when the weather is clear and calm for her to come out and severe the ties.

I could feel the crazy woman start to weaken.  Her voice was now nothing more than a weak whisper and her screams had stopped.  I could tell she was starting to feel the effects of everything going on around her.

"I am tired my love. I am lost and scared. I am unsure of what is happening." She whispered one morning.  The tone of her voice was heartbreaking.  Despite all that she had done, I couldn't help to feel some empathy for her.

"It will be over soon, we're going to help you but you have to trust us that we are going to do the right thing."  I whispered back to her.

Even though the crazy woman was starting to lose her grip on Heidi and her control of us, it didn't stop the others.  Doors would still open and slam shut, heavy footsteps could still be heard in the house.  We heard children laughing as if they were playing.  Maya was still on edge at certain times and was mindful of were I was at all times.

The spoon continued it's journeys, disappearing and then flying through the house as it returned.  However, we could feel the house starting to feel lighter and brighter.  We were also starting to feel better and stronger.

The Reiki told us that we need to be stronger before she came out because if we were weak, we would lose.  She understood that despite the crazy woman weakening and coming to terms it would still be difficult to move her on. 

As Amy had said during our reveal, 

"She's not going to really want to go."

...and she didn't either.

The Reveal-Part Three

Note:  This blog entry deals with some very sensitive issues that were not aired on our episode. It has taken a long time for us to heal from what we learned.  The emotional toll it took on us and the details leading up to Jennifer's breakdown are in this entry.


My hope that the Hat Man was our only issue were dashed when Amy said, "Yea, I did" after Steve asked her if she saw anything else.

I will never forget the look on Amy's face when she said that.  I knew by the tone of her voice and her expression, that we were about to hear something very horrifying and troubling.  I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach, my heart was racing, and my knees began to shake a little.  I thought, "Oh God, this doesn't sound good."

I also felt that the reveal was beginning to wear on Jennifer.  She was already upset over hearing that the paranormal team may had done a blotched cleansing, but hearing everything about the Hat Man nearly sent her over the edge.  I was really worried about how she would handle what we were about to hear.  One thing that everyone should know about my wife is that her love for our family runs deeper than anything in the world.  She can't stand to see any of us suffering and she'll do anything to ease the pain. She is, without question, the most amazing person I know.

"The next person is a female and to me she's a big problem." Amy said.  As soon as she said that I knew she was talking about the screaming crazy woman.  I remember reaching under the table and grabbing Jennifer's hand, squeezing it tightly as we were both beginning to tremble.

I knew what we were about to hear wasn't going to be good.  Amy told us, "...She effects the living in many different ways...she'll take the energy from the living to feed her own energy to keep herself up." All the sudden we realized that all the fatigue, depression, health issues, and lack of self-motivation was caused by the crazy screaming woman.  Amy listened to all the health issues that we've had since we've lived here.  There were times that everyone one of us were sick for days on end and the doctors couldn't figure out why.  Jennifer talked specifically how her health had deteriorated since moving here.  She told Amy how she was in great health, but since living here she's had vitamin D issues, gallbladder removed, depression, fatigue, and stomach issues.  I could hear Jennifer's voice tremble as she began to realize that all her issues were because of the crazy woman's attacks.  .

Steve then begins to tell Amy about the video that I shot in the kitchen of the drawer. (Click here to see the full Video in blog entry, "The Storm Intensifies.")

After watching it, Amy looks at us and asked, "Have you had physical phenomenon going on prior to the other experiences?"

I told Amy about the time the butcher knife flew off the counter and caught me across the arm.  I told her the cut was so deep that I probably should have gotten stitches but was hesitate to do so because I'd have to explain how I got the cut where I did.  I showed Amy the scar from the cut.  Steve then showed Amy the picture that Jennifer took shortly after it happened.

"Dammmnnnn, that would be more of a poltergeist phenomenon than a deceased individual" said Amy.

I could immediately feel Jennifer sink in her chair after hearing that.  I knew she was really starting to have a difficult time holding it together with everything we were hearing.  I put my hand on her knee and could feel her trembling.

Jennifer after hearing about the poltergeist phenomenon.

Steve asked Amy if she got anything on the crazy woman in life.  All Amy could say was that she felt the woman died fairly recently.  Jennifer began to tell Amy about a family friend who recently passed away. Steve showed Amy the picture and asked if the woman was her.

"No, but she's here right now trying to warn you about this other woman." Amy said as she looked at the picture.

Steve then told us about Etta (Davis) Peters.  Etta died on the property in the early 1900's.  Her death was a mystery as no death certificate or record of her death exists other than a brief obituary.  He showed us a 4 or 5 line obituary for her.

Steve asked Amy if Etta could be the woman in the house.

"Yea, I think she is." Amy answered.

I did some research and found that Etta is buried at Providence Church Graveyard which is about 3 miles from our house

Amy then tells us about the dead people that are standing behind Jennifer.  She looked at Jennifer, and said, "There are seven dead people behind you.  They're all trying to warn about about someone who is hurting one of your girls.  They're saying that a living person is molesting the girl who sleeps in the back bedroom."   Amy said they're frantic about it and are trying to protect her from this person but can't.

"Who?  Who's doing this!?!  Do they know who it is?"  I angrily asked Amy. 

"It's someone she knows and they're taking advantage of her trust but they don't know who the person is."  Amy tell us.

Naturally since Heidi is in the back bedroom we think it's her.  My mind starts to run wild.  I think of about all the people she comes into contact with at school and at her gymnastics practices.  A picture of every person starts going through my mind.  It's like a slide show; a photo line up.  The pictures were moving so fast that I had trouble concentrating on what Amy was saying.

I immediately feel like a failure as a husband, father, and protector.  Someone is hurting my child and I want blood.  I want to beat them with my bare hands and leave them for dead.  I want them to suffer.

Amy begins to tell us all the things the crazy woman can do.  She first goes after us physically and then goes after you mentally.  Slowing sucking all the energy and sanity out of us until we're nothing but a useless shell.  After she's drained that person of everything they have, she'll  move onto the next person.  You would build yourself back up then she'll come back and do it all over again.  It was a never-ending vicious cycle.  She'd nearly kill us but leave enough life left in us for the next round.

As soon as Amy said, "She's kind of fixated on the man of the house", I knew exactly what she was talking about.  I knew deep down that the crazy woman was like this but I just didn't want to accept it.  I thought I had stopped her from being obsession with me but I didn't realize that she was "extremely jealous of anyone who gets his attention" as Amy said. 

Jennifer looked at Amy, "So everybody here."

Amy shakes her head and says, "yea and when that happens she tries to lash out, violently."

It was scary to think that someone was so fascinated with me that they wanted to hurt my family.  How do I stop someone such as her? She so obsessed with me and I can't do anything.  Restraining orders don't work on the dead.  Why was she fascinated with me, it's not like I'm the greatest looking guy.  I guess it was because I was the only guy around. As I had mentioned in the blog before, I knew she was like this but I didn't realize it was an obsession.  This was a nightmare, like a paranormal fatal attraction.

Amy told us what she saw in the back bedroom, something very disturbing took place there.  She said she did have it sketched.

Steve opened the envelope and pulled the sketch out.  All he said was, "Sorry" as he put it down in front us.

I overcome with emotion.  I couldn't really speak as so many thoughts ran through my mind.  Angry, failure, fear, and anxiety all rushed through me like a fright train as I struggled to hold it together.

Jennifer leans forward and says,  "And this is is in the back bedroom."

"Yes", Amy replied.

The sketch of what Amy saw in the back bedroom.

"That's Heidi's room", Steve said.  "Why's she going after her?"

Amy pointed to Heidi in the picture and tells us that she feels that Heidi is a PK (Psychokinesis) Agent and that to a dead person is "like the fucking Energizer Bunny."  Amy continues to tell us all the things that Heidi is capable of doing as a PK Agent.  However, Heidi is not aware of her abilities but she does knows she's different.  She doesn't realize how or why she's different and certainly doesn't understand how to control her abilities.

Amy told us more of why the crazy woman was going after our daughter.  "...and she's jealous of her! She kind of wants her out of the way." 

"Out of the way in what manner?"  Steve asked Amy.

Then Amy said to us the last thing that any parent wants to hear, "like get rid of her.  Like if she died she would be ecstatic."

Everything we heard was overwhelming.  I was angry and scared; I was ready to fight.  My family was in danger and I had to do something.

The toll this took on Jennifer was too much.  She finally reached her breaking point.  "I feel horrible.  My heart hurts."  she said after hearing everything.

All we could do was hold each other.  Try to collect ourselves and regroup.  We lean on each other anytime we hit a rough patch in our lives.  Being there for one another and gaining strength from each other is how we coup.  It's how we survive.

We had to stop filming as Jennifer started to hyperventilate.   She was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably.  Emotions were pouring out of her.  Seeing her like this was heartbreaking, all I could do was just hold her and ensure her everything would be okay.  We would get through this.  We took Jennifer outside to on the back porch.  I practically had to carry her because she was so distraught.  As I walked her outside, I could see some of the crews eyes watering up.  The emotions of what just happened effected everyone.

Steve was absolutely amazing.  It seemed as if his police training kicked in as he treated her like a victim.  He knew exactly what to say to her.  Without his help I don't think we could have continued with the reveal.

We finally collected ourselves and told the producers we're ready to continue.

Now we know what had been torturing us for nearly 8 long years.  We told each other if Amy told us to leave, we were leaving that night.

"You stole the show!"

This blog post will be different than the others.  It's about the fun the we had with the crew and Steve.  This entry will not be dark and scary like the others.  Our time with the Dead Files crew was not all serious, we had some fun too.  So, I hope you all enjoy this little detour in our story.  I felt it was important to share this because it was nice to laugh while all the chaos was happening around us.

Jennifer is pretty tall at just a little over 5'7" and with boots on she's close to 5'10".  She is also a typical Texas girl who doesn't always filter the things she says.  I mean that in a good way too, it's one the things I love about her.  Her interview with Steve took place in the open bedroom.  As she was standing next to Steve, it was obvious she was a good bit taller than him. Not saying that Steve is short but with Jennifer wearing cowboy boots it made her taller than what she normal would be.

They had just started their interview and the producers cut filming.  He asked Jennifer, "Hey Jennifer, would you mind taking off your boots?"  At first, she thought it was because of the sound the boots made while she walked on the floor.  Then, out of the blue, she jokingly said, "oh that's right, I can't be taller than the star."  The hush across the crew was priceless.  Jennifer took off her boots as Steve chuckled.

The next person on the interview list was Heidi.  Steve interviewed Heidi in her room.  Like I had always said, the crew was unbelievable respectful of our situation & our experiences.  They knew we had concerns with the back bedroom, which was Heidi's.  After talking to Heidi and discussing with each other, Heidi decided she was okay with doing the interview in her room.  As the interview started, Steve said, "So Chloe, I hear you've had a lot issues in the house."  Heidi responded, "Well I don't about her but I'm Heidi and I have had a lot."

Emi was getting ready for her interview and was a little nervous.  Steve was great with her, absolutely wonderful.  Emi warms up to people pretty quickly, but Steve did it faster than anyone I've seen.  During Emi's interview, Steve asked Emi if she had seen anything.  Emi said that one time she saw a very tall creepy guy standing in the corner of her room.  Steve asked her what did you do, did you say anything?  Without missing a beat Emi responded, "I looked at him and said, 'Well hello creepy guy'".  Steve smiled and tried not to laugh but the producers couldn't contain themselves. Rob Rosen was beside himself laughing, he went up to Emi and gave her a big hug.  He said to her, "That was the best!  You stole the show!"  What made the situation even more precious was that Emi didn't know what that meant.  She thought it was a bad thing and started to tear up.  Rob was great with her, he told her that was a good thing because it meant she was the star.  The smile on her face was ear to ear.  

Emi and Heidi with Rob Rosen, the show runner and executive producer. May 2016

Even with all the fun we had filming with Steve, the interviews opened horrible memories for us, especially the girls.  The interviews with Steve was the first time we allowed the girls back into the house.  We sent them away after the filming was done as we still didn't feel it was safe.  That night they both had difficult time sleeping and I think we ended up all sleep in the same bed at my mom's house. 

Next up was a day off for us as we could just relax a little.  But coming up was the reveal and it wasn't going to be pretty.