A line in the sand.

Looking back at May 2016 it's was a blur.  We could feel the heaviness in the house getting thicker with each passing day.   Before any of the crew arrived, we had a call with Steve DiSchiavi.  One of things he asked was if the activity had increased.   We told him yes, it had and it seemed to be getting stronger.  I still remember his response, "Yea, it's like they know we're coming."  The truth of that statement just caused my mind to race.  I thought to myself, "if they know they're coming, how to I protect my family until Steve & Amy get here?"

Protecting my family was my top concern at that point.  It's very frustrating when you feel helpless and unable to protect the ones you cherish the most.   However my thought process then changed.  I was more angry than scared, I was move combative and stood my ground, I only responded when I felt the activity warranted a response.  However, changing to this method came at a price.

Making myself the center of the attacks in order to protect everyone meant I had to open myself up.  Suddenly I remembered things from my childhood as well as things from when I was a young adult.  Opening up those memories opened up my senses.  I knew the crazy woman had opened up a door to bring in reinforcements, she needed help to stop Amy from coming.   I also knew at some point she would figure out a way to allow them to come inside.  I wanted to stay on the offensive so I proactively granted them access.  My thought was that I would have more control over them if I did that.   I was the only thing standing between them and my family.  I was literally the first, last, and only line of defense.

My head was spinning and I had a very difficult time controlling the voices.  They would yell and scream; talking over each other.  It was exhausting as well as terrifying.   The voices started to manifest themselves into shadow figures.   If I went outside, they would rush me causing me to step backwards and lose my balance.   One time as I was about to walk through the doorway to the barn, I was pushed to the ground from behind.  The barn door slammed behind me as laid there.  I gathered myself and angrily yelled, "Is that all you can do?  That's it?  You're a coward!  Let's make this a fair fight!"   My response suddenly cleared the air as I felt an feeling of calmness.  I finally scared them.

In the back of my mind I knew that I had only pushed them back temporarily.  The crazy woman was talking to me constantly now;  I couldn't tune her out.  I was getting headaches and I wasn't sleeping well.  I would hear her whisper, "You are almost mine."  When I would ignore her she would scream at the top of lungs for all to hear.

One afternoon while a young family was picking up their new puppy, she made her presence known.  She kept asking who are these people were but I didn't answer.  She grew angry and frustrated and finally screamed.  Thankfully the parents didn't hear it but their children did.  "What was that!?!" one said.  "Nothing", I replied.  "Just the TV in the back of the house."  Luckily, they were young enough to believe that's what happened.

Now that the pathway was opened, others started to arrive.  Some benign, some curious, some angry, and some hell bent on causing terror & chaos.  We started hearing children laughing at various times of the day.  We heard the laughter of one child and thought it was Emi coming home from school.  When we noticed the time, it was too early for her to be home and when we looked in the mud room no one was there.  In my mind hearing the laughter of children was a good sign.  I knew if children were there then they would alert me to anything threatening or bad. 

The crazy lady decided that screaming repeatedly was her best way to not only scare us, but others as well.  One late afternoon she become frustrated with some customers who were picking up a puppy.  She felt threatened by them and wanted them to leave.  She kept asking me, "Tell them to leave, tell them to get out!"  I ignored her just as I had done in the past.  So she decided to take matters into own hands and screamed loudly about 10 times!  Everyone heard it...everyone.  I could see the fear on the people's face and they quickly decided it was time to go.  After they had left, I sat at our dining room table eating.  The crazy woman whispered in my ear, "I control this now."  I whispered back, "no you don't & you never will."   As soon as I finished saying that, I was slapped in the face.  Jennifer turned and looked at me and she knew exactly what happened.  My face was red with a hand print.

I had drawn a line in the sand and she crossed it.  She had moved to another level.