Death, The spoon, and The Crazy Girl.

Things are happening a feverish pace.  So much so, that keeping up with it is overwhelming.  We are all walking around in a daze and have become somewhat numb to the events happening around us. Some things are benign, some are scary, and some are hostile.

Things are beginning to disappear & then somehow show back up, but not in the original place.  We are now starting to see people, not real people mind you, but dead people.  We can sense them now and feel as if they are trying to communicate with us somehow.  Sometimes they make noise but most of them just give us the feeling they're just standing there...watching.

Londyn had left for college but was home for Thanksgiving.  It was nice to have her home and everyone was excited and happy.  However that mood was going to change.  I remember the day like it was yesterday.  I woke up and looked out the window and our horse Hannah was lying down.  I knew something was wrong because when I went outside and whistled for her she just laid there. She raised her head when I got to her.  I intermediately got her to her feet and started walking her but she continued to drop to the ground.  As much as I tried to keep her on her feet, she was determined to lay down.  I called the vet but in my heart I knew what was going to happened.  It was cold & sleeting when I made the decision to put her down.  We moved her to a place she liked and she went peacefully.  We covered her in a tarp until we could bury her.  I was heartbroken. We finally got to bury her a couple of months later.

One of our favorite pictures of Hannah before we had to put her down. It's only fitting that she be under a rainbow.

Even though she was gone, I could still feel her.  I knew that she was still there.  Her death opened another door and it was like spirits were lining up to pay their respects.  One evening while I was sitting on our back deck I saw someone standing over her grave.  I could see him clear as day and as I got closer to him, I yelled asking what he was doing here.  He was tall and lean wearing a western poncho with a brimmed hat.  He turned and calming said, "I am just paying my respects".  He walked toward the fence and then disappeared as he went through it.   I was horrified because once again I saw someone who wasn't real.  I knew that his present there was not a condolence visit.  I could sense his anger through his calmness.

Jennifer breeds dogs and is very good at what she does.  She has made a lot of friends doing what she does but none of them became close to us with the exception of one, Jackie.  Jackie was a wonderful person and she had a kind spirit.  We all loved her and our girls even called her aunt Jackie.  However she was fighting demons of her own.  She didn't have a lot of family support; a lazy daughter and a chronically unemployed husband.  Everyone in her family depended on her and sadly they took advantage of her kindness.  I recall one evening for no reason whatsoever, I become overwhelming sad.  I was to the point of tears.  I told Jennifer that I couldn't figure out why.  As the evening went on Jennifer began to smell a Rose perfume.  I didn't think much of it as I was still dealing with the sadness that had overtaking me.  When we woke the next morning, we heard the news.  Our dear friend Jackie and taken her own life the night before.  My sadness had coincided with her passing and the Rose perfume Jennifer had smelt...it was her favorite.  I had felt her pain all at once and the perfume told us she was there.  We took all of this as signs she came to us, the only place she felt loved and happy.

We were devastated at Jackie's passing.  We were angry about what she had been through but happy she was at some sort of peace.  We were happy that she was with us and strangely enough, we felt that she could help protect us.  However we couldn't sense her as much as the others.

All of this lead us to "the spoon" I had found in the yard.  It was dirty, covered in mud.  I took it inside thinking nothing much about it.  I figured it was just something that one of the kids had brought home from a friends house.  When I asked them, they knew nothing about it however.  No big deal I thought, just another spoon for us.  One day, Jennifer had put the spoon on the counter.  When she came back, it was gone.  While she was looking for it she asked me if I had put it somewhere.  Then all the sudden it was back; in it's original place.

The spoon started to "take trips" as we called it.  It would disappear and then return.  Sometimes in it's original place, sometimes we would find it somewhere else.   We originally thought one of the girls was just missing around and playing a prank but no one owned up to it.  So we decided to do a test.  Jennifer put it somewhere that only she knew about.  When she went back to check on it...gone! It would usually come back within a few minutes or a few hours however this time it was gone for much longer.  Then one night while Jennifer & Chloe were watching TV, the spoon came flying through the kitchen landing on the floor.   Now the spoon was returning via air mail.  It was like it was being thrown back at us.

Where The Spoon landing upon it's return one time.

It wouldn't always come back the way it left.  Here's a time it returned bent in half.

I know what you're thinking.  Why not just get rid of it?  Well, we tried but it just...kept...coming back.

The crazy lady who's been tormenting me had returned and although she could go anywhere she wanted, she started to hang out exclusively  in the back bedroom.   We could sense her in there.  It was like she was stalking whomever was in there.  She was still talking and she was getting angrier and angrier. Then she stopped talking altogether and began to only scream.  It was a scream like a crazy person...someone who was deranged & unstable.

I could never figure out what her attraction was to the back bedroom.  We would figure it out but it was a slow process. We didn't realize what was happening until it was almost too late.

She had an agenda and Heidi was at the top of it.